In elementary school and even up to the 10th grade I was teased about my last name. I was called Lemony, Lemon Head, Lemony Fresh, Lemonade and many other names. Although these names were harmless, it really hurt my feelings and it made me very self conscious about my name. I hated my teachers to call my name out loud or at assemblies I always hoped that I wouldn’t be winning an award just because I didn’t want them to call out my last name and me have to sit and listen to the other kids snicker at me. I did grow out of hating my name and the other kids eventually stopped picking on me for my last name but I will never forget the way it felt. I love my last name now and I honestly can’t imagine having any other name. It made me stronger as a person to be picked on and now I can take a little tough love from others.
To be an American you have to be tough, hard-working, motivated, and you have to be able to take care of yourself. Perhaps we pick on each other as children to develop “tough skin” and people always tell us to be strong and to not wear our heart on our sleeve. We were taught never to tattle and to take what life throws at us as a challenge to make us stronger. Most of us heard the quote, “What doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger”, so some would argue that bullying is just teasing but, how do we know when the teasing has gone way too far?
Most teens are picked on throughout life for something whether it’s their name, their skin color, who they are dating, what their parents do, how they dress, talk, fix their hair, or how big, tall, short, or small they are. Kids like to pick on other kids. Back in the old days of the West it was common for young boys to fight, rough house, and to pick on one another but, now days it is taken to the extremes. It wasn’t until just recently that there have been actions taken to prevent bullying in schools and communities. In the past, bullies were to be taken care of by the victim who was bullied. For example, the new hit television show, Glee. This series is all about the misfits in a High School trying to find a click that they truly belong to and trying to find a way to fit in despite being bullied constantly and pushed around. Taking care of the bullies yourself was a way for young children to learn how to cope with bullies. So, how do we know when enough is enough and is a little teasing healthy for the development of a child? There is truly no way to stop teasing completely but there is a point where the teasing crosses over into a harsher form of teasing defined as bullying.
So what can be done to stop bullying among children in school? According to Lillian Glass, a New York City psychologist, "We live in a culture where this kind of `dissing' may be considered cool or sarcastic," she then said that school officials, "ignore it. It's like nothing."(Glass, Lillian) But, how can the cruelty of children be considered nothing, especially, when many reports show that many cases of suicide stem from being bullied by other classmates. The bullying and teasing can and does often start as young as six years old. Bullies often trip their victims in the hallway, send mean notes, start harsh rumors about them and often physically hurt or mess with them.(Shear) How can this harassment be ignored by the faculty of schools?
There have been many recent cases of suicide related to bullying. One of the biggest cases right now involves a young 15 year old girl by the name of Phoebe Prince from Massachusetts. Her suicide might have been prevented if the correct actions would have been taken and if this young girl’s cry for help might have been taken a little more seriously. Holly Epstein Ojalvo, a writer for New York Times, stated in her article, “Ms. Scheibel said that Ms. Prince’s suicide came after nearly three months of severe taunting and physical threats by a cluster of fellow students.” (Ojalvo) You would think that Phoebe would still be around today if the correct actions would have been taken when she told her mother about the bullying or when the teachers at her school saw the torturing and maltreatment, you would think they would have stopped it. So, why didn’t they? At first, Ms. Prince’s mother thought that maybe it was just young teens quarreling and maybe it was just a case of the other girls being jealous. But, with Phoebe not being able to stay at school because of the other kids harassing her, her mother soon realized that this bullying was on a whole new level. Her mother then proceeded to go and talk with the school officials not only once but twice, both times no action being taken. So, who is to blame for this young girl’s death? Is it society, the school, or the bullies’ parents? In my personal opinion I believe all of these are to blame. We live in a society where bullying and taking it is almost considered a rite of passage. This cultural expectation or blind spot makes it hard for the school systems and teachers alone to stop or to catch all of the teasing and bullying that goes on around the school. Also, with the media promoting violence and death with movies and games, teachers don’t teach about bullying and why and how it is wrong. Parent’s also neglect the fact that they must teach their children at a young age that violence and harassing others is wrong.
When I was younger I was taught to have a tough skin and not run to my parents about everything. I think most of us were taught that as children as well. We were brought up knowing how to take care of ourselves and to not run and be tattle tales. If you live in the America you are considered to be tough and that you should be able to handle anything and to be able to tough out anything no matter what comes your way. Was this how Phoebe thought? Did she just want to try to be tough and not run to her mother about everything; did she just not want to be a tattle tale? We will never know because Ms. Phoebe Prince never got the chance to let everyone know how she truly felt. She couldn’t take the bullying and pressure anymore so she tragically took her own life to avoid being the center of all the other teens’ jokes.
What is considered bullying and what is not? Like I told you before I was picked on and teased because of my last name for years and it did get to me as a child but it did make me stronger now that I am older. I think this kind of teasing starts off as harmless. No one physically threatened me and no one followed me around taunting me. I think if it becomes a case of stalking and a case of physical threats or physical actions then that should be considered bullying and action should be taken immediately to avoid such cases as Ms. Prince. But, if it is harmless picking, and yes most people should be able to tell the difference, then I believe that to be healthy for the child. It does help us get a tougher skin and teasing helps us learn how to cope and deal with other and worse issues in our lives.
--Alicia Lemons
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