Wednesday, April 28, 2010

To Bully or Not to Bully

In the West, life was harsh. The rule was survival of the fittest. The strong ruled the weak. The strong man, never a woman, in a frontier town was often a bully. Bullying survives to this day and, in fact with cell phones and computers have increased.

Mary Elizabeth Williams, a Salon writer, review of School-bullied- - to death is that although Phoebe Prince, a 15-year old high school freshman, was bullied by her peers. Phoebe was teased everyday through-out the entire school, and even as she walked home. Phoebe died thinking that there was no hope for her, and that the bullying was never going to stop. Phoebe asked for help, but relief never seemed to come fast enough, and the only way she thought of seeking peace was to die. When Phoebe arrived home from school that afternoon, still dressed in her school clothes, she put a noose around her neck, and jumped (Williams).
Six out of her nine classmates have been charged with the events leading up to her death, but no one knows if they will serve time for the crimes, or if bulling is even a crime. Mary, a mother herself, is concerned if the law will change for bullying. Mary argues, “So while we grapple with the legal implications of bullying laws and the fate of those nine kids in New England, the more pressing challenge is figuring out how to head the bullying off at the pass, how to stem a rising ride of teen suicide. Punishment is fine, but prevention is where it’s at, especially where kids are involved (“School-bullied- - to death”).

I would have to agree with this article. Bullying has become a serious problem in today’s society. Unaware of the dangers of bullying, students bully to get attention, to receive rewards, a tough reputation, and perhaps, security of combat bullying them-selves. Schools are the perfect setting for a bully, but the school setting is feared by the victim. A bully knows that a teacher will not always be around to detect bullying especially on the playground or in the bathrooms. Some students are forced into bullying others, by their peers because they want to be a part of their cliques. Cliques are not afraid to bully because they know their peers are there to back them up, and some are even rewarded for their cruel behavior.

There are other ways that bullies attack. They attack online, which is called cyber bullying, and by sending threatening text messages on their cell phone. This is how most bullies attack their victims today, knowing that they are less likely to get caught. This is the same way Phoebe Prince was attacked and lead up to her death. I think that this and other related bully attacks should have been a wakeup call to America.

I think that bullying starts at home, from the harsh punishments, violent video games, and the media that is expose on T.V. but most of all the lack of the parents attention. Since I came from a single-parent home, my mom was not always around to ask us questions about how our day went, or if we had anything on our minds that was bothering us.
As a child, I was a victim of bullying, not by my school peers, but by my very own twin brother at home. I always questioned myself, “Why does he want to hurt us?” We were not the ones causing him pain. I use to see my twin brother getting bullied at school on the playground and sometimes at the bus stop. I remember, riding the bus home from school, he would sit behind the bus driver as if the driver were his bodyguard. Once the bus would come to a complete stop, and before the doors would open, my brother would be standing on the bottom step ready to run all the way home. As soon as the doors drew back, off he went, running, like a mad child as if someone had taken his favorite toy away. He ran scared with fear in his eyes. On one occasion, the same three boys took his bike from him, laughing and daring him to come and get it. Since we were taught to stick together, his siblings would stand up for him, by telling the mean boys to leave him alone.

When my brother got older he began to lash out at us. He would boss the television, the toys, which he and my little brother shared, and the only sofa that we were allowed to sit on. I recall one night while we were watching television, he wanted the sofa for himself and forced us to get up, but my sister stood up to him, and as a result, she got punched in the eye. We would tell mom as soon as she got home. Sometimes she would spank him, and then other times, I guess she was just too tired. I now realize that there was transition in our home. My twin brother went from being bullied to becoming the bully. Then finally one day the nightmare was over, the bullying had stopped. I still question till this day, “What made him stop?” not that I wanted it to continue, but did he have that gut feeling that what he was doing was wrong? Now that I’m a parent, I try to stay one step ahead of what is going on in my children lives. It’s not an easy task. Once something goes wrong at school or anywhere, parents are the last ones to know about it, if at all.

What I learned based on my personal experience, with bullies. Is that parents, should get more involved in their children lives. They should put a limit on their children’s cell phone use, and monitor their computers, by placing them in a viewable site. This might cut down on cyber bullying and threatening text messages. Parents should also get involved with school programs on bullying and push the school community to monitor behavior more closely. They should encourage their children to step up and talk about anything that is bothering them, and not to punish them for not telling, or by taking the law into their own hands causing the problem to become more severe. The first thing a parent tells his or her child is to stand up to the bully, which also makes things worse because the bully already knows that your child is not going to fight back. That is why the bully picked on him or her from the beginning.

I think that the entire school should become involved. Schools should add bullying as part of the school curriculum, beginning as early kindergarten. To help those who are being bullied, and maybe to stop those who are planning on doing the bullying. For some reason, when students see bullying, they have a tendency not to report it. So therefore the schools should have an anonymous hotline for those who are afraid to speak up in front of their peers. Then they should have a teacher or maybe the police to follow up on the incident. I also think that, instead of getting the children pumped-up for school pep-rallies. They should also do the same for bullying, by keeping the children more involved and keeping the message salient.

America has pushed to pass so many laws, but what about bullying? The community should also get involved more, by pushing for this law to be in every state to carry stiff penalties and appropriate sentences when bullying causes a death. The media should also change its publicity on bullies. They should guard the children who are bullied. All it takes is an active parent to get the conversation started, and one child to stand up for what is right. If someone had intervened and helped Phoebe, then maybe her pleas for help would have been heard, and her death would have been avoidable.

--Dedtra Smith

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